The other day I saw a quote that really resonated with me. Everyone was sharing it all over social media and it got me thinking. It said, “we expect women to work like they don’t have children and raise children as if they don’t work.” A recent study found that women tend to do more of the housework even if they’re rocking a 9-5 and bringing in more income. So how do we balance it all?
Whether we’re building our own business or climbing the corporate ladder, it can feel overwhelming and downright suffocating at times trying to cope with the pressure from your domestic role and career-driven ones.
Society tells us we can have it all, but at what cost? When we try to do all the things, we can very quickly get off balance and things suffer. IF we’re being honest with ourselves, we tend to care for everyone at our own expense.
So how do we balance it all without suffering burnout?
First, let’s look at the definition of burnout. According to Merriam Webster:
“to cause to fail, wear out, or become exhausted especially from overwork or overuse”
Instead of focusing on how you let the TV babysit your child for an hour today while you got some work done, let’s focus instead on how you’re making a positive impact. Let’s focus instead on how you’re making a difference in the world, including your family. Whether you’re climbing the corporate ladder or creating your own business, you’re on a path of improvement. When you’re improving, everyone in your family moves on up as well. You’re also making an impact in the business world you serve in. Your role is helping others and that’s something we need to stop feeling guilty about.
It’s okay to outsource things. Denise Duffield-Thomas recently wrote an article about how she outsources things like childcare, some housework, etc. because it allows her to be present in her business and have intentional time with her family. She doesn’t feel the need to be in both worlds all the time because she has made her time intentional. The intentional time makes all the difference. Your family would rather have two hours of completely focused time with you than four hours of half of your attention. Outsourcing is going to help you get more done with your time so you can spend quality time with your squad.
Have you seen one of the latest updates on your iPhone about screen time? Check it out. Now even Instagram will tell you how much time you spend on the app per day. It’s truly terrifying when you see how much time is spent on tech that you didn’t realize you were doing. Try eliminating some of the distractions so your time is optimized and you can spend more time doing what it is you love.
Some things that truly help are having a detailed routine and having some planned fun activities. Having a set routine will help set the whole day up for success. Kiss those chaotic mornings goodbye. When your day starts stress free, it’s easier to remain in a positive mindset throughout the day.
Also, add some planned activities into the week. Having something fun to look forward to will greatly help to reduce your stress. Avoid talking about work when you’re doing the fun things with your family. It’s important to disconnect.
First of all, self-care is whatever you decide it is. It doesn’t have to be what everyone is posting on Instagram. Find what works for you.
But on a serious note, you cannot pour from an empty cup. It’s doing your family and career a disservice by neglecting your health and well-being. You cannot help anyone personally or professionally if you’ve had a nervous breakdown from stress and overwhelm.
Moral of the story mama is that you cannot do it all alone. It takes a village. You have to be willing to ask for some help and take some time for yourself. It’s all about finding the perfect balance for you and your family. Be selfish about what it is you need to succeed. When you’re taking care of you, you can balance it all with ease.